Friday, August 29, 2008
Don't Worry, Be Happy
Here is a little song I wrote
You might want to sing it note for note
Don't worry be happy
In every life we have some trouble
When you worry you make it double
Don't worry, be happy
Don't Worry, Be Happy - Bobby McFerrin
What In the World Is That?
Yeah. Hahahah. Patut meet up again one day.
Here's me telling him to F------
Here's Mel telling him to listen to me and F-----
And here's him acknowledging it. Joker.
Sekian.
Oh. Puasa soon weh! Hahaha. I'm so... excited :D
You might want to sing it note for note
Don't worry be happy
In every life we have some trouble
When you worry you make it double
Don't worry, be happy
Don't Worry, Be Happy - Bobby McFerrin
Oh, bumped into Bobby a.k.a Spencer a.k.a Lai Tsoon Kit just now. Sly old devil, been a damn long time since we saw you.
What In the World Is That?
Yeah. Hahahah. Patut meet up again one day.
Here's me telling him to F------
Here's Mel telling him to listen to me and F-----
And here's him acknowledging it. Joker.
Sekian.
Oh. Puasa soon weh! Hahaha. I'm so... excited :D
And His Mind Is A Beacon In The Veil Of The Night, For A Strange Kind Of Fashion There's A Wrong And A Right
Lets take a walk together near the open shore hand in hand, you and I
Lets cherish every moment we have been given, the time is passin' by
I hope and pray before I lay down by your side, if u receive your
Calling before I awake, could I make it through the night
Cherish - Kool & the Gang
Tired, Happy, Mmmmm..
Huh? What? (Front)
Back
Which goes with hers, I'd like to think, and so I've been led to think, and so I'd like to think that I've been led to think that my shirt goes along with her shirt. I think.
Mmmm..
Oooh ass (Back-side. Literally)
Tralalala
:)
Lets cherish every moment we have been given, the time is passin' by
I hope and pray before I lay down by your side, if u receive your
Calling before I awake, could I make it through the night
Cherish - Kool & the Gang
Tired, Happy, Mmmmm..
It was a weird day for me, yesterday. Lows and really high highs. Like, "Fuah! High!" kinda high. Went out, and didn't think much about it when I saw Mel holding a plastic bag over her shirt. Ingatkan it was just some stuff that she wanted to return to me. Then after dah duduk, dah dapat the drinks, she asked me to take the shirt out.
Bleeding look at my shirt, damnit!
And I went "Oh my god!". Hahahah. Was grinning like an idiot, a wee bit gobsmacked and surprised (well, maybe not a wee bit). Then she showed me her tee, which was sorta matching mine, just that it was a different design and colour. But the link is there. And so, more grinning ensued.
Yeah. Senyum dan blur.
And then some um, photographing also followed at a different location.
Bleeding look at my shirt, damnit!
And I went "Oh my god!". Hahahah. Was grinning like an idiot, a wee bit gobsmacked and surprised (well, maybe not a wee bit). Then she showed me her tee, which was sorta matching mine, just that it was a different design and colour. But the link is there. And so, more grinning ensued.
Yeah. Senyum dan blur.
And then some um, photographing also followed at a different location.
Huh? What? (Front)
Back
Which goes with hers, I'd like to think, and so I've been led to think, and so I'd like to think that I've been led to think that my shirt goes along with her shirt. I think.
Mmmm..
Oooh ass (Back-side. Literally)
Yet to take a side-by-side picture, though that's sure to come. Cannot wait. Oh, no, wait, it's like, "I can't bear to wait".
Tralalala
:)
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
He Do the Song About the Knife
He got the action, he got the motion
Oh Yeah the boy can play
Dedication devotion
Turning all the night time into the day
Walk Of Life - Dire Straits
Cricket (?)
Oh Yeah the boy can play
Dedication devotion
Turning all the night time into the day
Walk Of Life - Dire Straits
Cricket (?)
To quote a very good friend, who I believe is still there, just that he needs to be taken out, but all in due time:
"Love Your Friends Not Hate Them"
"Love Your Friends Not Hate Them"
Mr. Sam
General of House of Alliance
Labels: Cricket (?)
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
We're Both Better Than This, It's Not Worth Being Down
It takes some silence to make sound,
And it takes a loss before you found it.
Life Is Wonderful - Jason Mraz
Holy smokes! It's Batman!
Drop of water. Really pointless photograph, to be honest. Just like this post.
I tag : I don't tag. I like doing tags, but I don't like tagging :)
♥
And it takes a loss before you found it.
Life Is Wonderful - Jason Mraz
Woke up with raindrops splashing on my face. Window was open, wind was blowing hard. Figures. Wanted to stay up and watch a football match. Managed to stay awake till about 1 a.m.. Then I thought, okay, a short nap will help, so I set my alarm to go off at 2.55 a.m., and I slept. And unfortunately I slept through the alarm-ringing, right up to dawn, when my mum woke me up. Then I went upstairs to continue my slumber. And woke up again to get splashed in the face. Hahaha.
Holy smokes! It's Batman!
I wonder what it's like to be a toy. To have no real life (if at all) of your own, to succumb to the whims and wants of the owner. To be posed on the edge of a table while said owner tries miserably to take a decent photo and not focus on life. To have only one purpose in life, that is to please / satisfy / amuse (in more ways than one, I assume) the person that bought you. To not worry about things, to just stand there and look pretty (or in this case, um.. macho?). Life would be simpler, in a sense, kan?
But then, when one is a toy, one cannot feel the joys of life (oh, do pray tell what that might be, says the pessimistic one). When one's a toy, one cannot, for example, fall down so bad one might just want to give up trying to stand, yet does not have the willpower to do so. Or have one's thoughts all in a mess and can't make head nor tail regarding things.
But then, when one is a toy, one cannot feel the joys of life (oh, do pray tell what that might be, says the pessimistic one). When one's a toy, one cannot, for example, fall down so bad one might just want to give up trying to stand, yet does not have the willpower to do so. Or have one's thoughts all in a mess and can't make head nor tail regarding things.
Drop of water. Really pointless photograph, to be honest. Just like this post.
This was a post in the making, earlier today, and since I didn't have the time nor energy nor wit nor strength nor interest in continuing what I started back then, then, now I'm continuing on with it. Oh did that make sense or what? Teehee.
So yeah, there's this tag that I did, and I did it three times, at three different times, with three different mindsets. So... Here's the tag, but with three different variations of answers (with regards to some, not all, questions)
Tagged by: Melissa Chen
1. People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace and questions that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.
2.Tag 8 people to do this quiz and those who are tagged cannot refuse.These people must state who they were tagged by and cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by. Continue this game by sending it to other people.
(Part One)
1. Are you allowed to have a bf/gf?
Girlfriend.
2. Describe yourself in one word.
a - Ambiguous.
b - Sarcastic.
c - Reliable.
3. Who would you pick, someone who really loves you, or the one you love?
Someone I love
4. Have you ever loved someone before but never had the courage to tell him/her?
No.
5. Does it feel good to love?
a - Depends. It can get horrible.
b - No.
c - Yes.
6. What do you like to eat?
a - Malaysian food.
b - Whatever that's edible.
c - Food
7. What’s the last thing you’ll do before you die?
a - Say goodbye.
b - Make someone who cares / I care about cry.
c - Take a picture. Or two.
8. Was there ever a time that you tried to learn to love someone?
No.
9. What can you say about playboys/ playgirls?
a - What can I say? Without rubbish, loads of people would be out of jobs.
b - I couldn't care less.
c - Glad I'm not one.
10. Are you still a virgin?
Yes.
Look at the pretty lights! Oooooooo...
(Part Two)
1. Best place to cry?
a - In the presence of someone who cares.
b - In private.
c - With a friend / family.
2. Who's the person who stands on top of your heart?
a - Well, you know who you are, at the moment.
b - For now, it's not that hard to guess, is it?
c - There's more than one, and they're all equally (though not literally) on top of my heart.
3. Tell us your dream last night?
Didn't dream.
4. Ever hated someone so bad?
a - No, regretfully.
b - I want to, but I don't think I have / can.
c - No.
5. The biggest & most hurtful lie you heard?
a - Don't want to remember it if I've ever heard it.
b - I was L....
c - Nanananana
6. The last person you had a beer with?
Don't drink.
7. The last person you went to the movies with?
Family.
8. The last person you talked on the cell phone with?
Lisa
9. The last person you hugged?
Mel
10. The last person who made you cry?
Mmm..
11. In the last week have you kissed someone?
No.
12. Danced crazy?
Can't / Don't dance.
13. Think of the last time you were angry, why were you angry?
a - Yesterday, cold, ice-cold.
b - Today, just now, frustrated.
c - Today, dinner, something about me going out a lot.
14. If you could do anything or wish anything, what would it be?
a - I'd wish I was smarter. Then I wouldn't have made stupid mistakes.
b - I'd wish no one would have to go through what I do.
c - Wish I would be a successful sports photographer.
15. If you could have an all expense paid trip, where will you go?
a - France.
b - England.
c - England.
16. Would you or have you ever blackmailed someone?
Maybe. No.
17. Are you old fashioned?
a - Some aspects.
b - Sometimes.
c - Yes, specially in the music department.
18. What would be harder for you, to tell someone you love them or that you do not love them back?
a - That I do not love them back. Bet the feeling's horrible. ;)
b - That I do not love them back.
c - That I do not love them back.
19. What things would be the hardest thing for you to give up on?
a - Love? Life? Or do those two go hand-in-hand?
b - A friend.
c - Trust. Where'd I be if I couldn't trust anyone?
20. Five facts about me:
a - Ambiguous, sarcastic, smart, shy, stupid
b - Reliable, witty, has a knack for photographs, friendly, helpful
c - Helpful, dark, thin, thinks too much, doesn't do enough.
21. Seven songs in my head now:
a - Details In the Fabric - Jason Mraz & James Morisson
- The Letting Go - Melissa Etheridge
- Walking After You - Foo Fighters
- Throw the Roses Away - Hall & Oats
- Menjaga Hati - Yovie & Nuno
- Such Great Heights - Postal Service
- Silver Lining - Rilo Kiley
b - Chasing Pavements - Adele
- Will Try - Amy Anelle
- World Spins Madly On - The Weepies
- This Conversation - The Submarines
- Between the Lines - Sara Bareilles
- Life Is Wonderful - Jason Mraz
- The Quiz - Hello Saferide
c - Yellow - Coldplay
- Time of My Life - David Cook
- You Got Me - Jason Chain
- Lifesize - A Fine Frenzy
- Shh - Donora
- California Dreaming - Mamas and the Papas
- Shut Up and Let Me Go - The Ting Tings
22. Five of your favourite TV shows:
Simpsons, House, I don't watch much TV
23. Five things I treasure in my life:
a - Family, Friendship, Trust, Music, Life
b - Life, Family, Friends, Photography, Love
c - Life, Family, Technology, Music, Light
24. Five "First Time" in my life:
Flying, Cycling into a drain, Falling, Breaking, Leaving
25. Seven words and things I always use:
Words: Oh, Hey, Gah, Hello, So, Wee, Yes
Things: Camera, Computer, Eyes, Ears, Nose, Mouth, Brain (not much, though)
So yeah, there's this tag that I did, and I did it three times, at three different times, with three different mindsets. So... Here's the tag, but with three different variations of answers (with regards to some, not all, questions)
Tagged by: Melissa Chen
1. People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace and questions that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.
2.Tag 8 people to do this quiz and those who are tagged cannot refuse.These people must state who they were tagged by and cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by. Continue this game by sending it to other people.
(Part One)
1. Are you allowed to have a bf/gf?
Girlfriend.
2. Describe yourself in one word.
a - Ambiguous.
b - Sarcastic.
c - Reliable.
3. Who would you pick, someone who really loves you, or the one you love?
Someone I love
4. Have you ever loved someone before but never had the courage to tell him/her?
No.
5. Does it feel good to love?
a - Depends. It can get horrible.
b - No.
c - Yes.
6. What do you like to eat?
a - Malaysian food.
b - Whatever that's edible.
c - Food
7. What’s the last thing you’ll do before you die?
a - Say goodbye.
b - Make someone who cares / I care about cry.
c - Take a picture. Or two.
8. Was there ever a time that you tried to learn to love someone?
No.
9. What can you say about playboys/ playgirls?
a - What can I say? Without rubbish, loads of people would be out of jobs.
b - I couldn't care less.
c - Glad I'm not one.
10. Are you still a virgin?
Yes.
Look at the pretty lights! Oooooooo...
(Part Two)
1. Best place to cry?
a - In the presence of someone who cares.
b - In private.
c - With a friend / family.
2. Who's the person who stands on top of your heart?
a - Well, you know who you are, at the moment.
b - For now, it's not that hard to guess, is it?
c - There's more than one, and they're all equally (though not literally) on top of my heart.
3. Tell us your dream last night?
Didn't dream.
4. Ever hated someone so bad?
a - No, regretfully.
b - I want to, but I don't think I have / can.
c - No.
5. The biggest & most hurtful lie you heard?
a - Don't want to remember it if I've ever heard it.
b - I was L....
c - Nanananana
6. The last person you had a beer with?
Don't drink.
7. The last person you went to the movies with?
Family.
8. The last person you talked on the cell phone with?
Lisa
9. The last person you hugged?
Mel
10. The last person who made you cry?
Mmm..
11. In the last week have you kissed someone?
No.
12. Danced crazy?
Can't / Don't dance.
13. Think of the last time you were angry, why were you angry?
a - Yesterday, cold, ice-cold.
b - Today, just now, frustrated.
c - Today, dinner, something about me going out a lot.
14. If you could do anything or wish anything, what would it be?
a - I'd wish I was smarter. Then I wouldn't have made stupid mistakes.
b - I'd wish no one would have to go through what I do.
c - Wish I would be a successful sports photographer.
15. If you could have an all expense paid trip, where will you go?
a - France.
b - England.
c - England.
16. Would you or have you ever blackmailed someone?
Maybe. No.
17. Are you old fashioned?
a - Some aspects.
b - Sometimes.
c - Yes, specially in the music department.
18. What would be harder for you, to tell someone you love them or that you do not love them back?
a - That I do not love them back. Bet the feeling's horrible. ;)
b - That I do not love them back.
c - That I do not love them back.
19. What things would be the hardest thing for you to give up on?
a - Love? Life? Or do those two go hand-in-hand?
b - A friend.
c - Trust. Where'd I be if I couldn't trust anyone?
20. Five facts about me:
a - Ambiguous, sarcastic, smart, shy, stupid
b - Reliable, witty, has a knack for photographs, friendly, helpful
c - Helpful, dark, thin, thinks too much, doesn't do enough.
21. Seven songs in my head now:
a - Details In the Fabric - Jason Mraz & James Morisson
- The Letting Go - Melissa Etheridge
- Walking After You - Foo Fighters
- Throw the Roses Away - Hall & Oats
- Menjaga Hati - Yovie & Nuno
- Such Great Heights - Postal Service
- Silver Lining - Rilo Kiley
b - Chasing Pavements - Adele
- Will Try - Amy Anelle
- World Spins Madly On - The Weepies
- This Conversation - The Submarines
- Between the Lines - Sara Bareilles
- Life Is Wonderful - Jason Mraz
- The Quiz - Hello Saferide
c - Yellow - Coldplay
- Time of My Life - David Cook
- You Got Me - Jason Chain
- Lifesize - A Fine Frenzy
- Shh - Donora
- California Dreaming - Mamas and the Papas
- Shut Up and Let Me Go - The Ting Tings
22. Five of your favourite TV shows:
Simpsons, House, I don't watch much TV
23. Five things I treasure in my life:
a - Family, Friendship, Trust, Music, Life
b - Life, Family, Friends, Photography, Love
c - Life, Family, Technology, Music, Light
24. Five "First Time" in my life:
Flying, Cycling into a drain, Falling, Breaking, Leaving
25. Seven words and things I always use:
Words: Oh, Hey, Gah, Hello, So, Wee, Yes
Things: Camera, Computer, Eyes, Ears, Nose, Mouth, Brain (not much, though)
I tag : I don't tag. I like doing tags, but I don't like tagging :)
♥
Monday, August 25, 2008
Saat Diriku Lemah dan Terjatuh, Kau Bisikkan Kata dan Hapus Semua Sesalku
Kau adalah darahku
Kau adalah jantungku
Kau adalah hidupku
Lengkapi diriku
Oh sayangku, kau begitu
Sempurna
Sempurna - Andra & The Back Bone
Even cake has that effect on me, eh? Haha
Somehow I have a feeling I'll eventually lead a pretty normal life, where I won't be so prone to emotional outbursts and roller-coasters, but in the near future, no, not really. Not until something drastic happens in my life, I believe. And I guess in less than six months, something drastic is going to happen.
I've come a long way, though, no?
Kau adalah jantungku
Kau adalah hidupku
Lengkapi diriku
Oh sayangku, kau begitu
Sempurna
Sempurna - Andra & The Back Bone
So many times I've questioned things, rarely just sitting back and letting life go on it's own course, rarely taking things as they come, always dwelling on what might have been, what will be, what is. So many times I've tried to change. Change my perspective, my outlook on life, my attitude, my pessimism, over-optimism.
Maybe with a little work, it's pretty possible. I don't know how I'm doing, to be honest, because at one point I can feel like I'm on top of the world, where nothing can bring me down, and yet just as easily I be can down in the dumps, where the whole world is against me. So I cannot really keep proper track of my progress with this, since it's like, an up and down thing, pretty inconsistent.
Maybe with a little work, it's pretty possible. I don't know how I'm doing, to be honest, because at one point I can feel like I'm on top of the world, where nothing can bring me down, and yet just as easily I be can down in the dumps, where the whole world is against me. So I cannot really keep proper track of my progress with this, since it's like, an up and down thing, pretty inconsistent.
Even cake has that effect on me, eh? Haha
Somehow I have a feeling I'll eventually lead a pretty normal life, where I won't be so prone to emotional outbursts and roller-coasters, but in the near future, no, not really. Not until something drastic happens in my life, I believe. And I guess in less than six months, something drastic is going to happen.
I've come a long way, though, no?
Sunday, August 24, 2008
What Do I Need To Do, To See Myself In A Better Mood?
And what I wanted most, what I wanted most, what I wanted most,
Was to get myself all figured out.
And what I figured out, what I figured out, what I figured out,
Was I needed more time to figure you out.
There's not a lot for you to give if you're giving in,
And there's not a lot for you to feel if you're not feeling it.
You bring it up and bring it in and we'll get you fixed up in no time.
Fix You Up - Tegan & Sara
Music is the only thing that makes sense anymore in this world that I live in.
So I'm glad I've access to some pretty good music, and friends who have similar taste.
Thank you :)
..
Was to get myself all figured out.
And what I figured out, what I figured out, what I figured out,
Was I needed more time to figure you out.
There's not a lot for you to give if you're giving in,
And there's not a lot for you to feel if you're not feeling it.
You bring it up and bring it in and we'll get you fixed up in no time.
Fix You Up - Tegan & Sara
Music is the only thing that makes sense anymore in this world that I live in.
So I'm glad I've access to some pretty good music, and friends who have similar taste.
Thank you :)
..
Friday, August 22, 2008
Remember How The Stars Stole The Night Away, Yeah?
My thoughts are with you,
Holding hands with your heart to see you,
Only blue talk and love,
Remember how we knew love was here to stay.
The bells were ringing,
Oh our souls were singing,
Do you remember, never a cloudy day?
September - Earth, Wind and Fire
Thanks, for that, you guys :)
Are you a riddle to solve all along?
Or am I over thinking thoughts of human after all
Only Human - Jason Mraz
...
Holding hands with your heart to see you,
Only blue talk and love,
Remember how we knew love was here to stay.
The bells were ringing,
Oh our souls were singing,
Do you remember, never a cloudy day?
September - Earth, Wind and Fire
Thanks, for that, you guys :)
What can a guy, who has almost everything that he might need, want? Well, I'm not saying who I would like it to come from, since it's still unclear as to who, what, where and when, but I think this might be the one aspect that is sorely missed in my life. And it's not that type, nor the family type, but yeah. It's that type.
Are you a riddle to solve all along?
Or am I over thinking thoughts of human after all
Only Human - Jason Mraz
...
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Happiness Is Just An Illusion, Filled With Sadness and Confusion
What becomes of the brokenhearted
Who had love that’s now departed
I know I’ve got to find
Some kind of peace of mind
Help me, please
What Becomes of the Broken Hearted - Jimmy Ruffin
Might've just emotionally killed myself, I think. Being the idiot that I am, I read and re-read some things that I guess I shouldn't have.
Bitch.
Who had love that’s now departed
I know I’ve got to find
Some kind of peace of mind
Help me, please
What Becomes of the Broken Hearted - Jimmy Ruffin
Might've just emotionally killed myself, I think. Being the idiot that I am, I read and re-read some things that I guess I shouldn't have.
Bitch.
Saturday, August 16, 2008
And Everyday, There Comes A Song With The Dawn
Cause there is a light
In your eyes, in your eyes
Hold on hold tight
From out of your sight
Everything keeps moving on, moving on,
Hold on hold tight
Make it throught another night
Breathe In, Breathe Out - Mat Kearney
I'm so so nervous! Hahaha. Oh shit.
In your eyes, in your eyes
Hold on hold tight
From out of your sight
Everything keeps moving on, moving on,
Hold on hold tight
Make it throught another night
Breathe In, Breathe Out - Mat Kearney
I'm so so nervous! Hahaha. Oh shit.
*Edit: added a better picture of my erm, current gear.
And here's a list, just in case ;)
:D
And here's a list, just in case ;)
- Canon EOS 40D + BE-E2N
- Canon EOS 400D + BG-E3
- Canon 430 EX
- Canon 580 EX II
- Sigma 17-70 2.8-4.5
- Canon 24-70 2.8 L
- Canon 70-200 F4 L IS
:D
Labels: Eman, Life, Photography, Wedding
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Where The Hell Did I Put My Coffee, I Can't Find Anything. One Thing Goes Wrong, and Then Another
I'm part of something
The bigger part of nothing
And I'm debating
Do I even like me?
And everybody's
Trying so hard
To be so cool
But you know what's cool?
Not trying
My Beautiful Life - Ferras
Life's like a cup of coffee, bittersweet
The bigger part of nothing
And I'm debating
Do I even like me?
And everybody's
Trying so hard
To be so cool
But you know what's cool?
Not trying
My Beautiful Life - Ferras
Life's like a cup of coffee, bittersweet
How does one weigh the value of life? The life of an ant may be insignificant, compared to, say, the life of a cow. The life of a pet, compared to the life of a human being. What makes us think that our lives are the most precious compared to the rest? What makes us so special?
Is it because we can think, and thinking lets us rationalize about why we need to live, and let others die in our cause? But what about when the deaths have nothing to do with us surviving, when it's just that. The death of something, for supposedly our greater good, when it clearly has nothing to do with it. Ah, rambles, ramblings, whatever. Shitload of hot air coming out now.
So with life, we get death. How does one keep up, embrace, accept, look at and face death? I'm in a very, precarious state right now, seeing how my most intimate and lifelong friend is ill. Yeah, she might be just a cat to you, but she's been with me through thick, through thin, through everything. Heck, I've been with her since she was a little one. I've fed her, nursed her, took care of her, treated her, played with her, entertained her, let her sleep with me, and much much more.
She's the one that really knows my secrets, the one that I can really just, talk to, even if I don't get the sort of feedback I might need. But looking at the way she cocks her head, twitches her ears, purrs or mews when I'm talking to her, sometimes I'd like to think she understands me, and I take great comfort in that.
The thought of losing this one, is, to be honest, very much unbearable. She's like a sister, a family member. She's been around since I can remember (well, not really), and we're so used to her presence in the house, it would be so different without her.
I might come across as someone who's making a big fuss out of nothing, but hey, I take things like this really seriously, and when I do, it tends to get to my head. I can't help it if I'm affected by this, in this way. I can be a little pessimistic, and somewhat morbid at times. And, most of the time, these things cloud my judgment, and make me take the wrong decisions. Hopefully though, it won't happen again this time.
So with my Snowball being sick, and the thought of being without her hovering in my head, well, other thoughts inevitably come up. I feel pretty, um, sad, now, I guess. I'm blaming myself a lot for stuff that's happened, that shouldn't have happened, and that should've happened but didn't. Which is pretty upsetting in itself as when this happens, I spiral down deeper into the dark abyss of thought and pensiveness.
Is it because we can think, and thinking lets us rationalize about why we need to live, and let others die in our cause? But what about when the deaths have nothing to do with us surviving, when it's just that. The death of something, for supposedly our greater good, when it clearly has nothing to do with it. Ah, rambles, ramblings, whatever. Shitload of hot air coming out now.
So with life, we get death. How does one keep up, embrace, accept, look at and face death? I'm in a very, precarious state right now, seeing how my most intimate and lifelong friend is ill. Yeah, she might be just a cat to you, but she's been with me through thick, through thin, through everything. Heck, I've been with her since she was a little one. I've fed her, nursed her, took care of her, treated her, played with her, entertained her, let her sleep with me, and much much more.
She's the one that really knows my secrets, the one that I can really just, talk to, even if I don't get the sort of feedback I might need. But looking at the way she cocks her head, twitches her ears, purrs or mews when I'm talking to her, sometimes I'd like to think she understands me, and I take great comfort in that.
The thought of losing this one, is, to be honest, very much unbearable. She's like a sister, a family member. She's been around since I can remember (well, not really), and we're so used to her presence in the house, it would be so different without her.
I might come across as someone who's making a big fuss out of nothing, but hey, I take things like this really seriously, and when I do, it tends to get to my head. I can't help it if I'm affected by this, in this way. I can be a little pessimistic, and somewhat morbid at times. And, most of the time, these things cloud my judgment, and make me take the wrong decisions. Hopefully though, it won't happen again this time.
So with my Snowball being sick, and the thought of being without her hovering in my head, well, other thoughts inevitably come up. I feel pretty, um, sad, now, I guess. I'm blaming myself a lot for stuff that's happened, that shouldn't have happened, and that should've happened but didn't. Which is pretty upsetting in itself as when this happens, I spiral down deeper into the dark abyss of thought and pensiveness.
Help, I need somebody,
Help, not just anybody,
Help, you know I need someone, help.
...
Help, not just anybody,
Help, you know I need someone, help.
...
Monday, August 11, 2008
If It's a Broken Part, Replace It. If It's a Broken Arm, Then Brace. If It's a Broken Heart, Then Face It
Hold your own,
Know your name,
And go your own way.
Hold your own,
Know your name,
And go your own way.
Details In The Fabric - Jason Mraz feat. James Morrison
"God damnit, can't you hear me? Put that camera down!"
Know your name,
And go your own way.
Hold your own,
Know your name,
And go your own way.
Details In The Fabric - Jason Mraz feat. James Morrison
"God damnit, can't you hear me? Put that camera down!"
I've always had the notion that I could be there for people, if and when they need me or my help. I always try to be available, helpful and supportive in any way I can. But now, thinking about how things are going to work out, I feel awful that I'm going to be leaving this all behind. I feel bad that I can't be there, I can't say this, I can't do that.
But, this post, ain't gonna be about me being all sad and dejected and whatnot. It'll be a happy one, since it's been a while since I last had one. So yeah. Happy happy joy joy.
So there's this one person, whom I asked out to dinner, and she obliged (happily, I hope). Had a pleasant one, at an Italian place. I can't really remember when I last ate Italian food. So yeah, the food was quite okay, save for the garlic bread. Not as nice as I would've wanted. Her stuff was okay too, I think, save for the Hoe in the garden. Hahaha.
Then we headed to Starbucks (again, gosh!) where I had a huge mug of coffee and got my ass handed back to me in a game of checkers. It's three lines, I tell you! Then I had a whatcha call it, Venti (?) Mocha Frap (yeah, another large cup of coffee) and we sat and entertained each other. And we left early, for the first time in yonks. Haven't been home before two in the morning when we went out since.. since.. since I can remember.
So yeah, all in all, a very pleasant night. Very, indeed.
----------
So there's this one person, whom I asked out to dinner, and she obliged (happily, I hope). Had a pleasant one, at an Italian place. I can't really remember when I last ate Italian food. So yeah, the food was quite okay, save for the garlic bread. Not as nice as I would've wanted. Her stuff was okay too, I think, save for the Hoe in the garden. Hahaha.
*I'm an Italian, from Italy, and I speak Italics* ;)
Then we headed to Starbucks (again, gosh!) where I had a huge mug of coffee and got my ass handed back to me in a game of checkers. It's three lines, I tell you! Then I had a whatcha call it, Venti (?) Mocha Frap (yeah, another large cup of coffee) and we sat and entertained each other. And we left early, for the first time in yonks. Haven't been home before two in the morning when we went out since.. since.. since I can remember.
So yeah, all in all, a very pleasant night. Very, indeed.
----------
Nike Sports Wear (NSW) @ Pavillion KL
So I attended the launch of NSW at the Pavillion, on Wednesday (the launch itself, a media event apparently) and on Saturday (the Streething event). It was pretty cool, with crazy wicked displays. The concepts were awesome, and well the people came in all shapes, sizes, and styles. So yeah, not many words, some photos.
And finally, yours truly.
----------
Forget all you've done,
You are the freest man.
The Freest Man - Tilly and The Wall
:)
And finally, yours truly.
----------
Forget all you've done,
You are the freest man.
The Freest Man - Tilly and The Wall
Saturday, August 09, 2008
All Too Soon, The Clock Will Strike Midnight
Theres so many different worlds
So many different suns
And we have just one world
But we live in different ones
Brothers In Arms - Dire Straits
So You Think You Can Dance Season 2 Production Team
-Best damn people I've had the pleasure to work with-
So many different suns
And we have just one world
But we live in different ones
Brothers In Arms - Dire Straits
So You Think You Can Dance Season 2 Production Team
-Best damn people I've had the pleasure to work with-
Fear and uncertainty, life's biggest bitches. And somehow, *ding ding ding* they've decided to drop by for a friendly visit. Fear, uncertainty, insecurity, sadness, the whole shebang. They hit you when you least expect, and when they hit, they hit hard as hell. And even if you did expect it, well, that does nothing to soften the blow.
My life was a hell of a downhill ride today, maybe more than it should be. Yeah, there were ups, oh definitely there were ups, but the downs were pretty steep, and that really made it so I easily trip and fall.
Falling is not the hard part. It's picking myself up that's the clincher. I'm afraid, I'm uncertain, I'm insecure, I'm unprepared. Worst part is, this will probably affect my life, from now till then. Which would really be horrible. Yeah, I know, I shouldn't dwell on this, since it will only serve to spoil what little time I have left. But...
I really don't know if I can do this.
I don't know, do I look like I can do this?
*I have a shitload of stuff I'd love to put up, but I can't seem to put them into words. Plus my keyboard is wonky tonight, since I had to wipe off some water from it. Ah, the life of a sentimental, emotional, 19 year old sap of a boy.
My life was a hell of a downhill ride today, maybe more than it should be. Yeah, there were ups, oh definitely there were ups, but the downs were pretty steep, and that really made it so I easily trip and fall.
Falling is not the hard part. It's picking myself up that's the clincher. I'm afraid, I'm uncertain, I'm insecure, I'm unprepared. Worst part is, this will probably affect my life, from now till then. Which would really be horrible. Yeah, I know, I shouldn't dwell on this, since it will only serve to spoil what little time I have left. But...
I really don't know if I can do this.
I don't know, do I look like I can do this?
*I have a shitload of stuff I'd love to put up, but I can't seem to put them into words. Plus my keyboard is wonky tonight, since I had to wipe off some water from it. Ah, the life of a sentimental, emotional, 19 year old sap of a boy.
Wednesday, August 06, 2008
It's Been A Long Day, We've Come A Long Way
Funny how things just tasted better
When we were young
When we were young
Funny how things just seemed so easy
When we were young
When We Were Young - Dolores O'Riordan
Drip, drip, drip
Yeah, I know I'm not a sight for sore eyes
But I can try, nay? ;)
Taa :)
When we were young
When we were young
Funny how things just seemed so easy
When we were young
When We Were Young - Dolores O'Riordan
Drip, drip, drip
I'm almost through with my first week of college, and also going to end my time working for 8TV and So You Think You Can Dance. Two opposite aspects of life: One is a beginning, one is an ending. Wooo, wreaks havoc on my head when I think about it. I mean, I'm beginning a new chapter of my life (my degree) and ending a very memorable one (work). I do get nostalgic thinking about the past few months, the ups and downs I've been through, the people I've been with, everything.
I'd like to think that I'm leaving work on a positive note, leaving no negativity behind. I'd hate to think that I stepped on anyone's toes during my working term. And I'd like to think I managed to impress those I've worked with, leave a good impact on them. Plus, since they know my dad, make him proud as well. Nothing would please me more than for them to go around mentioning stuff along the lines of "Itu, anak Azhar Borhan, really lives up to expectations. A son to be really proud of."
It's not often that you get to see a genuine smile nowadays
I'm going to leave work with a heavy heart, but with the assurance that if I'm in trouble, or need help, I can always turn to them. Bunch of amazing people, and it's no wonder I'm addicted to work. They're like my second family, in a sense. I've managed to learn so much, and hopefully contribute my fair share as well. It's nice to know that they can rely on me to do some things, even if some might not be that important.
So smile, because you'll look wonderful
So, that signals the last days of my working life, and also the beginning of my college life. Classes so far have been pretty okay. I think I can cope. Hopefully it won't be too hard. And the people I go to class with, they'll definitely help, and I only hope I can be as much help as they would be to me.
Oh, that brings me to another topic. Convocation. I was somewhat iffy about going, but after listening to what Keidd had to say, and thinking about my dad, about him coming back to watch me graduate, watch his first child get a cert for something, and for the first time actually doing well in his studies, I owe him this.
For all that he's done, for all that both my parents have done (not pressuring me to get excellent results, the leniency in my upbringing, the spoiling of my needs, and loads of other stuff), this is the least I can do to repay them.
And as for you, after reading your entry, and if I understand it correctly, I have one thing I want to mention. Actually, I'm going to quote my previous post.
So yeah, if I read it correctly, or if I didn't, please tell me. I'd hate for Twiddle Dee and Twiddle Dum to miss this.
Oh, and I shall leave you with a few more photos taken when two people meet up at Mc D in the middle of the night, and have a camera at hand.
I'd like to think that I'm leaving work on a positive note, leaving no negativity behind. I'd hate to think that I stepped on anyone's toes during my working term. And I'd like to think I managed to impress those I've worked with, leave a good impact on them. Plus, since they know my dad, make him proud as well. Nothing would please me more than for them to go around mentioning stuff along the lines of "Itu, anak Azhar Borhan, really lives up to expectations. A son to be really proud of."
It's not often that you get to see a genuine smile nowadays
I'm going to leave work with a heavy heart, but with the assurance that if I'm in trouble, or need help, I can always turn to them. Bunch of amazing people, and it's no wonder I'm addicted to work. They're like my second family, in a sense. I've managed to learn so much, and hopefully contribute my fair share as well. It's nice to know that they can rely on me to do some things, even if some might not be that important.
So smile, because you'll look wonderful
So, that signals the last days of my working life, and also the beginning of my college life. Classes so far have been pretty okay. I think I can cope. Hopefully it won't be too hard. And the people I go to class with, they'll definitely help, and I only hope I can be as much help as they would be to me.
Oh, that brings me to another topic. Convocation. I was somewhat iffy about going, but after listening to what Keidd had to say, and thinking about my dad, about him coming back to watch me graduate, watch his first child get a cert for something, and for the first time actually doing well in his studies, I owe him this.
For all that he's done, for all that both my parents have done (not pressuring me to get excellent results, the leniency in my upbringing, the spoiling of my needs, and loads of other stuff), this is the least I can do to repay them.
And as for you, after reading your entry, and if I understand it correctly, I have one thing I want to mention. Actually, I'm going to quote my previous post.
"I know I'm not the first, nor the second, heck I'll be lucky to be even the third person you turn to when you're in trouble, when you have something bothering you, but I promise you, if there is anything I can do, in any way humanely possible, to make you happy, to not see you sad, I would. As a lyric of a song goes: Just call my name, and I'll be there."
So yeah, if I read it correctly, or if I didn't, please tell me. I'd hate for Twiddle Dee and Twiddle Dum to miss this.
Oh, and I shall leave you with a few more photos taken when two people meet up at Mc D in the middle of the night, and have a camera at hand.
Yeah, I know I'm not a sight for sore eyes
But I can try, nay? ;)
Taa :)
Monday, August 04, 2008
I Wish I Was A Punk Rocker With Flowers In My Hair
When the head of state didn't play guitar,
Not everybody drove a car,
When music really mattered and when radio was king,
When accountants didn't have control
And the media couldn't buy your soul
And computers were still scary and we didn't know everything
Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair
In 77 and 69 revolution was in the air
I was born too late into a world that doesn't care
Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair
I Wish I Was A Punk Rocker With Flowers In My Hair - Sandi Thom
I went out the other night, and I posed a question to a friend.
And yes, I know. I'd be very lucky if half of this post actually made any sense.
Not everybody drove a car,
When music really mattered and when radio was king,
When accountants didn't have control
And the media couldn't buy your soul
And computers were still scary and we didn't know everything
Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair
In 77 and 69 revolution was in the air
I was born too late into a world that doesn't care
Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair
I Wish I Was A Punk Rocker With Flowers In My Hair - Sandi Thom
I went out the other night, and I posed a question to a friend.
"What would it take to make you really happy, huh?"
Took her a while to think about it, and when she couldn't answer a proper answer, she flipped it back to me. Then it was my turn to stop and think, and to be honest, I've never really thought about what it would take to make me really happy.
I mean, I get happy, easy. To get really really happy, like, euphoria at it's best, well I can only think of one time it happened, and that's because the memory is imprinted in my head as clear as if it happened yesterday.
So yeah, I get happy easy, and sometimes I do think it's a little unfair. But I try to give as I get, in a sense that when I get happy, I try to make someone I know happy.
For example:
40d + 24-70 2.8
This easily made me happy. But I didn't really feel the full force of happiness, maybe because I knew and expected this to happen, and maybe because I was not patient enough to wait until the 1series stock arrived, so I grabbed the next best things.
Lisa + Guitar
Then, this made me happy too, since I finally managed to get a decent picture out of the camera. It took me a relatively short while to learn the camera (thank god) and the lens, as well as the multiple flash system (or whatever the hell you call it). But I still think lighting is not one of my strong points, so I'm going to have to work on that.
But yeah, the two things above, they make me happy, but not in that I'm so happy I'll split in two.
So what would exactly make me happy? Or am I destined to go around with a semi-smile on my face? A frowny smile, actually.
Eman + Work Thoughts
Happiness Is A Warm Gun,
Bang, Bang, Shoot, Shoot.
I mean, I get happy, easy. To get really really happy, like, euphoria at it's best, well I can only think of one time it happened, and that's because the memory is imprinted in my head as clear as if it happened yesterday.
So yeah, I get happy easy, and sometimes I do think it's a little unfair. But I try to give as I get, in a sense that when I get happy, I try to make someone I know happy.
For example:
40d + 24-70 2.8
This easily made me happy. But I didn't really feel the full force of happiness, maybe because I knew and expected this to happen, and maybe because I was not patient enough to wait until the 1series stock arrived, so I grabbed the next best things.
Lisa + Guitar
Then, this made me happy too, since I finally managed to get a decent picture out of the camera. It took me a relatively short while to learn the camera (thank god) and the lens, as well as the multiple flash system (or whatever the hell you call it). But I still think lighting is not one of my strong points, so I'm going to have to work on that.
But yeah, the two things above, they make me happy, but not in that I'm so happy I'll split in two.
So what would exactly make me happy? Or am I destined to go around with a semi-smile on my face? A frowny smile, actually.
Eman + Work Thoughts
Yeah not exactly the best picture of me. But I like how my eyes look.
Happiness Is A Warm Gun,
Bang, Bang, Shoot, Shoot.
And yes, I know. I'd be very lucky if half of this post actually made any sense.
