Monday, June 30, 2008

And I Choose To Believe What Sounds Impossible To You, That I'm Going To Make It

Ain’t it funny how people think they know more about you, than you do?
They try to tell you how to reach your dreams
Get on this road, go that way
Well, they don’t even really know a thing about me or what I want
It’s my life, so they don’t really get a say

My Mistake - Unknown Artist

Yeah, I've used this song before, but I think what I went through warrants the use of this song again.

My trip to Singapore was decent, but I admit I didn't enjoy myself as much as I would have liked. There were a few things that I should've done, a few things that I would've liked to have done, and a few things that I just.. ah fuck.

Ain’t it funny how people think they know more about you, than you do?
They try to tell you how to reach your dreams,
Get on this road, go that way.

I find it weird, in a sense, that I can relate to the lines above. So many people think they know more about me than I do me. Then they go on to tell me how to live my life, how I should do this, how I should do that. Yes, I know you might have my best interest at heart, but some things, well, you should just back off, shouldn't you?

Well, they don’t even really know a thing about me or what I want,
It’s my life, so they don’t really get a say

For the first time in my life, I let fly a curse full of venom and fury whilst on the phone with my mum. What I felt at that moment was short of suicidal, short of feeling like screaming and just jumping off a building. Yes, you don't want to see me hurt. Yes, you care about me. Yes, you've probably been through what I'm going through now. But why not let me try things out? You ask me to delay, wait, not rush. But a lot can happen in the space of a few days.

I think John Mayer said it best:

Its better to say too much
Then never say what you need to say again

Yeah, well, part of it is in me, why I didn't say too much, why I might never get to say what I need to say again. It's not easy, especially with another person around. I can't just ask the person to buzz off. Or walk alone. Or whatever. That would be selfish, that'd be mean, and yeah I'd accomplish something, but I'd lose something as well.

So yeah, for all I know, I might've blown it. Because like I said, a lot can happen in the space of a few days. I might trip on a rock, knock my head on a lamp-post and die a horrible yet comical death, or I might win the British national lottery.

I heard a wise man say it’s the people closest to you
They try to hold you back cause they’re scared that you might fall

Yeah, you held me back as well. Oh, Eman, why don't you wait till you're back home. Don't you think that's better? You'd have time to think about it, to maybe prepare yourself. Well fuck that! If it were not for me being a nice kid, I would've said "Sod you, I'm staying!" If you're scared of me falling, then you wouldn't have let me go. And since you've let me go, then expect me to fall or stumble once in a while, no? No one goes through life free of cuts and bruises, so why should I be any different?

Well don’t they see
It’s chasing our dreams, doing what we love that makes us happy
Sometimes it’s hard but I wouldn’t change this for the world.

I'd serve the world on a silver platter if that makes me happy doing what I love, okay? I don't give a care about inconveniencing myself, if it means I'm happy in the end. You see that I love to do what I do, so don't you see that's what makes me happy? Let me go on wild goose chases, because for all you know I might end up smiling at the end of the day.

Is this a world where dreaming’s ended
Should I be afraid to believe?

So. Should I? What with being "cautious" being the in thing now, afraid of a few scratches and bumps along the way? Should I just be a plain simple person with nothing to look forward to, nothing to look back on, no experiences worth laughing, crying or talking about?


Should I Be Afraid To Believe?

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