Monday, June 30, 2008
And I Choose To Believe What Sounds Impossible To You, That I'm Going To Make It
Ain’t it funny how people think they know more about you, than you do?
They try to tell you how to reach your dreams
Get on this road, go that way
Well, they don’t even really know a thing about me or what I want
It’s my life, so they don’t really get a say
My Mistake - Unknown Artist
They try to tell you how to reach your dreams
Get on this road, go that way
Well, they don’t even really know a thing about me or what I want
It’s my life, so they don’t really get a say
My Mistake - Unknown Artist
Yeah, I've used this song before, but I think what I went through warrants the use of this song again.
My trip to Singapore was decent, but I admit I didn't enjoy myself as much as I would have liked. There were a few things that I should've done, a few things that I would've liked to have done, and a few things that I just.. ah fuck.
My trip to Singapore was decent, but I admit I didn't enjoy myself as much as I would have liked. There were a few things that I should've done, a few things that I would've liked to have done, and a few things that I just.. ah fuck.
Ain’t it funny how people think they know more about you, than you do?
They try to tell you how to reach your dreams,
Get on this road, go that way.
They try to tell you how to reach your dreams,
Get on this road, go that way.
I find it weird, in a sense, that I can relate to the lines above. So many people think they know more about me than I do me. Then they go on to tell me how to live my life, how I should do this, how I should do that. Yes, I know you might have my best interest at heart, but some things, well, you should just back off, shouldn't you?
For the first time in my life, I let fly a curse full of venom and fury whilst on the phone with my mum. What I felt at that moment was short of suicidal, short of feeling like screaming and just jumping off a building. Yes, you don't want to see me hurt. Yes, you care about me. Yes, you've probably been through what I'm going through now. But why not let me try things out? You ask me to delay, wait, not rush. But a lot can happen in the space of a few days.
I think John Mayer said it best:
Well, they don’t even really know a thing about me or what I want,
It’s my life, so they don’t really get a say
It’s my life, so they don’t really get a say
For the first time in my life, I let fly a curse full of venom and fury whilst on the phone with my mum. What I felt at that moment was short of suicidal, short of feeling like screaming and just jumping off a building. Yes, you don't want to see me hurt. Yes, you care about me. Yes, you've probably been through what I'm going through now. But why not let me try things out? You ask me to delay, wait, not rush. But a lot can happen in the space of a few days.
I think John Mayer said it best:
Its better to say too much
Then never say what you need to say again
Then never say what you need to say again
Yeah, well, part of it is in me, why I didn't say too much, why I might never get to say what I need to say again. It's not easy, especially with another person around. I can't just ask the person to buzz off. Or walk alone. Or whatever. That would be selfish, that'd be mean, and yeah I'd accomplish something, but I'd lose something as well.
So yeah, for all I know, I might've blown it. Because like I said, a lot can happen in the space of a few days. I might trip on a rock, knock my head on a lamp-post and die a horrible yet comical death, or I might win the British national lottery.
Yeah, you held me back as well. Oh, Eman, why don't you wait till you're back home. Don't you think that's better? You'd have time to think about it, to maybe prepare yourself. Well fuck that! If it were not for me being a nice kid, I would've said "Sod you, I'm staying!" If you're scared of me falling, then you wouldn't have let me go. And since you've let me go, then expect me to fall or stumble once in a while, no? No one goes through life free of cuts and bruises, so why should I be any different?
I'd serve the world on a silver platter if that makes me happy doing what I love, okay? I don't give a care about inconveniencing myself, if it means I'm happy in the end. You see that I love to do what I do, so don't you see that's what makes me happy? Let me go on wild goose chases, because for all you know I might end up smiling at the end of the day.
So. Should I? What with being "cautious" being the in thing now, afraid of a few scratches and bumps along the way? Should I just be a plain simple person with nothing to look forward to, nothing to look back on, no experiences worth laughing, crying or talking about?
So yeah, for all I know, I might've blown it. Because like I said, a lot can happen in the space of a few days. I might trip on a rock, knock my head on a lamp-post and die a horrible yet comical death, or I might win the British national lottery.
I heard a wise man say it’s the people closest to you
They try to hold you back cause they’re scared that you might fall
They try to hold you back cause they’re scared that you might fall
Yeah, you held me back as well. Oh, Eman, why don't you wait till you're back home. Don't you think that's better? You'd have time to think about it, to maybe prepare yourself. Well fuck that! If it were not for me being a nice kid, I would've said "Sod you, I'm staying!" If you're scared of me falling, then you wouldn't have let me go. And since you've let me go, then expect me to fall or stumble once in a while, no? No one goes through life free of cuts and bruises, so why should I be any different?
Well don’t they see
It’s chasing our dreams, doing what we love that makes us happy
Sometimes it’s hard but I wouldn’t change this for the world.
It’s chasing our dreams, doing what we love that makes us happy
Sometimes it’s hard but I wouldn’t change this for the world.
I'd serve the world on a silver platter if that makes me happy doing what I love, okay? I don't give a care about inconveniencing myself, if it means I'm happy in the end. You see that I love to do what I do, so don't you see that's what makes me happy? Let me go on wild goose chases, because for all you know I might end up smiling at the end of the day.
Is this a world where dreaming’s ended
Should I be afraid to believe?
Should I be afraid to believe?
So. Should I? What with being "cautious" being the in thing now, afraid of a few scratches and bumps along the way? Should I just be a plain simple person with nothing to look forward to, nothing to look back on, no experiences worth laughing, crying or talking about?
Should I Be Afraid To Believe?
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Sweet Dreams Till Sunbeams Find You, Sweet Dreams That Leave All Worries Behind You
Say nighty-night and kiss me
Just hold me tight and tell me you’ll miss me
While I’m alone and blue as can be
Dream a little dream of me
Dream A Little Dream Of Me - Louis Armstrong & Ella Fitzgerald
Me @ work @ Ruums
Most of the stuff I put up are:
- Ramblings
- Whiny stuff
- Complaints
- Emotionally inspired junk
- Et al
So yeah, here are pictures, just because I have nothing much to blog about. Well, except...
Hahaha. So nah, gambars.
Some football (sorta) action
Some shots taken on the roof of Sri Pentas
And a couple from Ruums today
So yeah, you might've noticed I'm doing a lot of people photos lately. I have no idea why, but yeah. I guess I find it... interesting. Mmmm.
Just hold me tight and tell me you’ll miss me
While I’m alone and blue as can be
Dream a little dream of me
Dream A Little Dream Of Me - Louis Armstrong & Ella Fitzgerald
Me @ work @ Ruums
Okay I've been busy and lazy this week. Busy with Dance, photography and whatnot, yet lazy to update. Well, to be honest, I'm not really lazy, more like, waiting for inspiration to hit. I've yet to come up with a meaningful post in a long while.
Most of the stuff I put up are:
- Ramblings
- Whiny stuff
- Complaints
- Emotionally inspired junk
- Et al
So anyway, inspiration hasn't hit me yet. Hell, it hasn't even reared it's face in recent times. Yeah it does give a hint of arriving when I'm with my camera, but never when I'm at my computer. It's like, teasing me, hovering just out of the line of sight, staying just at the tip of my tongue (in this case, fingertips), hanging at the back of my head, and what have you.
So yeah, here are pictures, just because I have nothing much to blog about. Well, except...
1 More Day! Wheeeeee!
Hahaha. So nah, gambars.
Some football (sorta) action
Some shots taken on the roof of Sri Pentas
And a couple from Ruums today
So yeah, you might've noticed I'm doing a lot of people photos lately. I have no idea why, but yeah. I guess I find it... interesting. Mmmm.
And I am dying inside to hold you
...
...
Labels: Eman, Life, Photography, Work
Friday, June 20, 2008
Take This Sinking Boat and Point It Home, We've Still Got Time
Falling slowly, eyes that know me
And I can't go back
Moods that take me and erase me
And I'm painted black
You have suffered enough
And warred with yourself
It's time that you won
Falling Slowly - Glen Hansard and Markéta Irglová
Me @ work today
But. But but but! I'm going to Singaporeeee! Hahaha. 1 more week, gosh I'm all sexcited!
Me posing @ work yesterday
And I can't go back
Moods that take me and erase me
And I'm painted black
You have suffered enough
And warred with yourself
It's time that you won
Falling Slowly - Glen Hansard and Markéta Irglová
Today was a pretty good show. Hahaha. I loved the feel, the atmosphere and whatnot. Just that there was one part where I miscued the audio. Argghh! Anyway, I've got a person under me. And no, not in that sense. I'm supposed to show a guy how to work things the way I do. Well, actually this was because I thought I was going to the Philippines, which I am now not going to go. Lodging problems and commitments and what have you.
Me @ work today
But. But but but! I'm going to Singaporeeee! Hahaha. 1 more week, gosh I'm all sexcited!
Me posing @ work yesterday
Tagged? Oh well
1 - At what age do you wish to marry?
26
2 - What is your most favourite thing to do?
Taking photographs
3 - If you have a close close close friend since childhood who loves to take away whatever you like, including guys/girls. He/she always wins, will you still consider him/her your friend?
Yeah, since I'd need some bad to balance my good.
4 - If you had to die to save a friend/loved one would you do it?
For you I'd bleed myself dry ;)
5 - If you can have 1 dream to come true, what would it be?
To be great in the eyes of someone.
6 - Do you believe you can survive without money?
No, I don't think so.
7 - If you could write a song, what would it be about?
About how I'm feeling right now, the culmination of every emotion running through my mind.
8 - What do you feel like doing right now?
I feel like going out to McD, have some coffee, and then have a nice chat.
9 - If you could be anywhere in the world right now, where would you want to be?
I'm happy where I am.
10 - List out 3 good points about the person who tagged you.
Very friendly, sincere, great to talk to.
11 - What are the requirements for you to wish from your other half?
Mmm.. Let's see.
a - Smart, maybe even more so than I am
b - Can share my music
c - Able to listen and talk back
d - Can tolerate my photography hobby
e - Not so materialistic
f - Able to put up with me
12 - Which type of person do you hate most?
Obnoxious people.
13 - What is your ambition?
To become a sports photographer, with side projects in portraiture, landscape and audio.
14 - What is the thing that will make you think he/she is bad?
His/her attitude and behaviour.
15 - What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
Love
16 - If you could travel back in time, which famous person would you like to meet?
Douglas Adams.
17 - If you had a chance, which part of your character would you change?
My take-a-long-time-to-get-out-of-my-shell attitude
18 - Who are the people you can share all your problems with?
My parents, and this girl who's name starts with M, ends with A, and rhymes with Elissa
19 - What are the 5 things you must have on you when you go hang with friends?
Clothes, house keys, car keys, handphone and a great frame of mind.
20 - Do you think you get hungry because you're cold, our you feel cold cause you're hungry?
I get hungry when it gets cold.
And no, I'm not tagging people.
Plus I edited some questions, since there were a few mistakes, and there were some bits I added in.
Some stuff to update, I think. But later.
Till then, goodnight!
:)
*PS: 1 more week! 7 more days! 168 more hours! Oh my gawddd!
1 - At what age do you wish to marry?
26
2 - What is your most favourite thing to do?
Taking photographs
3 - If you have a close close close friend since childhood who loves to take away whatever you like, including guys/girls. He/she always wins, will you still consider him/her your friend?
Yeah, since I'd need some bad to balance my good.
4 - If you had to die to save a friend/loved one would you do it?
For you I'd bleed myself dry ;)
5 - If you can have 1 dream to come true, what would it be?
To be great in the eyes of someone.
6 - Do you believe you can survive without money?
No, I don't think so.
7 - If you could write a song, what would it be about?
About how I'm feeling right now, the culmination of every emotion running through my mind.
8 - What do you feel like doing right now?
I feel like going out to McD, have some coffee, and then have a nice chat.
9 - If you could be anywhere in the world right now, where would you want to be?
I'm happy where I am.
10 - List out 3 good points about the person who tagged you.
Very friendly, sincere, great to talk to.
11 - What are the requirements for you to wish from your other half?
Mmm.. Let's see.
a - Smart, maybe even more so than I am
b - Can share my music
c - Able to listen and talk back
d - Can tolerate my photography hobby
e - Not so materialistic
f - Able to put up with me
12 - Which type of person do you hate most?
Obnoxious people.
13 - What is your ambition?
To become a sports photographer, with side projects in portraiture, landscape and audio.
14 - What is the thing that will make you think he/she is bad?
His/her attitude and behaviour.
15 - What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
Love
16 - If you could travel back in time, which famous person would you like to meet?
Douglas Adams.
17 - If you had a chance, which part of your character would you change?
My take-a-long-time-to-get-out-of-my-shell attitude
18 - Who are the people you can share all your problems with?
My parents, and this girl who's name starts with M, ends with A, and rhymes with Elissa
19 - What are the 5 things you must have on you when you go hang with friends?
Clothes, house keys, car keys, handphone and a great frame of mind.
20 - Do you think you get hungry because you're cold, our you feel cold cause you're hungry?
I get hungry when it gets cold.
And no, I'm not tagging people.
Plus I edited some questions, since there were a few mistakes, and there were some bits I added in.
Some stuff to update, I think. But later.
Till then, goodnight!
:)
*PS: 1 more week! 7 more days! 168 more hours! Oh my gawddd!
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Would You Look At Her, She Looks At Me, She's Got Me Thinking About Her Constantly
She was the one to hold me
The night
The sky fell down
And what was I thinking when
The world didnt end
Why didnt I know what I know now
Crazy For This Girl - Evan and Jaron
Whoa! Bout 10 more days to Singapore! I'm so excitedddd! Hahaha. Ku rindumu bagai gurun meridui hujan. Or maybe it'll sound nicer in English, "And I miss you, like the deserts miss the rain"
So yeah, been surviving having both my parents away, what with my hectic schedule and stuff, I still need to take care of the house and cats and sister. It's pretty routine, though Sam still does somehow manage to cause anxiety and unrest by not turning up at night. Sigh, that cat drives me nuts!
Anyways, I've been really crazy about Black and White photography, specially portraits, thanks to that session with Jasmine (Documented in vivid contrast in the previous post). So yeah. Decided to do a few more. Hahahah.
My Sister
And Yours Truly
I can hardly wait!
:D
The night
The sky fell down
And what was I thinking when
The world didnt end
Why didnt I know what I know now
Crazy For This Girl - Evan and Jaron
Whoa! Bout 10 more days to Singapore! I'm so excitedddd! Hahaha. Ku rindumu bagai gurun meridui hujan. Or maybe it'll sound nicer in English, "And I miss you, like the deserts miss the rain"
So yeah, been surviving having both my parents away, what with my hectic schedule and stuff, I still need to take care of the house and cats and sister. It's pretty routine, though Sam still does somehow manage to cause anxiety and unrest by not turning up at night. Sigh, that cat drives me nuts!
Anyways, I've been really crazy about Black and White photography, specially portraits, thanks to that session with Jasmine (Documented in vivid contrast in the previous post). So yeah. Decided to do a few more. Hahahah.
My Sister
And Yours Truly
I can hardly wait!
:D
Labels: Black and White, Eman, lisa, Photography
Sunday, June 15, 2008
There's Something About You, You Kill My Suicide
She was a bright light
I was a fist fight
If i was a brick wall
She would run right into me
The freeway's stuck
The sky is grey
Another ordinary day
To get through
But there's something bout you
That makes me cry
Watching you making the sun shine
Breaking the flatline
Something About You - Ferras
Playing around with an optical slave.
Mm well I'm home with my sister and her friends, my mum flew off to visit my dad in the Philippines, leaving me in charge and care-taker of the house and the driving and whatnot. Well, since the Getz is out of service, I've been driving the Escape, and it's been pretty fun driving it.
Um, last week I did a shoot, shooting football and whatnot.
Header! But with closed eyes?
Rudi - Man of the tournament
Again.
Last Wednesday while we were rehearsing for the live show, someone went and tampered with my audio, and my cueing was all over the place, thanks to that. Now, that really caused me to be extremely pissed off, because:
I was a fist fight
If i was a brick wall
She would run right into me
The freeway's stuck
The sky is grey
Another ordinary day
To get through
But there's something bout you
That makes me cry
Watching you making the sun shine
Breaking the flatline
Something About You - Ferras
Playing around with an optical slave.
Mm well I'm home with my sister and her friends, my mum flew off to visit my dad in the Philippines, leaving me in charge and care-taker of the house and the driving and whatnot. Well, since the Getz is out of service, I've been driving the Escape, and it's been pretty fun driving it.
Um, last week I did a shoot, shooting football and whatnot.
Header! But with closed eyes?
Rudi - Man of the tournament
Again.
Last Wednesday while we were rehearsing for the live show, someone went and tampered with my audio, and my cueing was all over the place, thanks to that. Now, that really caused me to be extremely pissed off, because:
- I'm the audio man, and that's my stuff
- People don't meddle in other people's business, specially coming to something this important, and even if they do, for fucks sake ask for permission!
- The person did not admit to doing it
- It looked like I was not ready and not doing a proper job
Spoilt my mood like nuts! But luckily I managed to rectify the problem, and in the end it was all okay again. But boy oh boy was I feeling rotten.
Then who should call during Wednesday's rehearsal but the Subangian in Singapore. Called twice, but I didn't realise, since I was busy with the rehearsal. Then she called again at night, after the rehearsals were over. Turned the day around, in a few ways, so yeah. Thanks for that one.
Thursday, was pretty damn good. The show was awesome, the atmosphere and everything. I might've bunked one of the outro-bumper's audio, but that's about it. The emotion there in the MCP was awesome!
And then Saturday (yesterday) Jas and Arthur came over, lepak for a while. Watched Nicole Kidman's "The Others", and it was pretty damn good. Love the twist at the end. Then while waiting for Jas to go back, we had some small photo shoot, sorta.
Just the one picture, though.
*Edit: Okay, more than one.
And then, I had a very, very fulfilling conversation with you. Been a while since I ever felt my ears getting that hot. Was nice to hear the familiar laughter and voice, laced with subtle and sometimes not-so-subtle insults.
And I think.. eh, wait. No. I know. This time, I'll hold up my side of the bargain. I promise.
Then who should call during Wednesday's rehearsal but the Subangian in Singapore. Called twice, but I didn't realise, since I was busy with the rehearsal. Then she called again at night, after the rehearsals were over. Turned the day around, in a few ways, so yeah. Thanks for that one.
Thursday, was pretty damn good. The show was awesome, the atmosphere and everything. I might've bunked one of the outro-bumper's audio, but that's about it. The emotion there in the MCP was awesome!
And then Saturday (yesterday) Jas and Arthur came over, lepak for a while. Watched Nicole Kidman's "The Others", and it was pretty damn good. Love the twist at the end. Then while waiting for Jas to go back, we had some small photo shoot, sorta.
Just the one picture, though.
*Edit: Okay, more than one.
And then, I had a very, very fulfilling conversation with you. Been a while since I ever felt my ears getting that hot. Was nice to hear the familiar laughter and voice, laced with subtle and sometimes not-so-subtle insults.
And I think.. eh, wait. No. I know. This time, I'll hold up my side of the bargain. I promise.
And you're still laughing at something i said
Yesterday that it wasn't even funny
That makes me cry
..
Yesterday that it wasn't even funny
That makes me cry
..
Monday, June 02, 2008
Where I Least Expected, There Was Someone Special
A foggy morning greets me quietly today
I smell a fragrance in the wind blowing my way
And ever further I run to find her
I yearn to define my life
Placing my faith in chance to meet me in half way
Back row to the left, a little to the side
Slightly out of the place
Look beyond the light, where you'd least expect
There's someone special
Someone Special - Poets of the Fall
So yeah, just when I thought I was going to end my week on a pretty low note, Mel (and Ping) came up with one of the best surprises ever.
She . Came . Back .I smell a fragrance in the wind blowing my way
And ever further I run to find her
I yearn to define my life
Placing my faith in chance to meet me in half way
Back row to the left, a little to the side
Slightly out of the place
Look beyond the light, where you'd least expect
There's someone special
Someone Special - Poets of the Fall
So yeah, just when I thought I was going to end my week on a pretty low note, Mel (and Ping) came up with one of the best surprises ever.
*Albeit for only the weekend.
But still, it's been way too long since I last saw you, tau? One can only survive on phone calls for so long. Everything was so well executed, to be honest. I didn't suspect anything, but that may be because I'm generally clueless about lots of stuff. Hahaha. Doof, nay?
So anyway, I was wondering la kan why she was also asking me to go to Poppy, to erm, teman Ping or something (I was very iffy on going, since I was really pretty down / low / whatever at that point of time). Then cakap take something from her house from her parents, something to do with college. Gosh I fell for that one.
Sampai sana, nampak dia, rasa macam.. er.. I can't put it in words, I guess. The shouts of disbelief themselves were enough to wake the dead in Zimbabwe three times over, and then some. And it took me a while to sorta recover my senses.
Went to Nandos, then fetched her other friends, and we headed on to Poppy. Met up with Arthur and the rest, and then we had some funnnn! Someone (2 someones, actually) even went to the guys toilet. Hahahahah
But to sum it all up, thanks, so very much, for coming back.
It was an amazing weekend.
You're larger than lifesize, wondersome.
Photos courtesy of Jasmine. More on Facebook.
And then just now, I sent her off at Sunway. And I sorta felt a little down, again, though this time I knew it's less than a month before I'll see her again. I will survive!
Ohhh! Pastu kan! Damn Singaporean line, I texted her something, and she only received it like, what, half an hour later! Gahhhhh!
So yeah. 27th! Mesti! I'm booking them tickets and stuff within this week.
:)
Ohhh! Pastu kan! Damn Singaporean line, I texted her something, and she only received it like, what, half an hour later! Gahhhhh!
So yeah. 27th! Mesti! I'm booking them tickets and stuff within this week.
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun
and I say it's all right
and I say it's all right
:)
