Monday, November 12, 2007
How Much Is Too Much? Because Seriously...
I believe in the phrase "Too much of a good thing is bad"
But when exactly is it too much?
Recently I've been having to deal with a lot of things.
Assignments, life, and no my life is not all La-di-da.
More like La-di-da-di-bloody-fucking-da!
Expectations and so much more.
Weighing me down.
The only time I feel like myself nowadays is in college.
I guess it's because I can escape form my life.
College life, mostly routine, rarely anything that I can't put up with.
So yeah, too much?
Well I guess it's nearing the point of too much.
It's not the assignments. Those, I can deal with pretty easily.
It's the other aspect of life.
Sometimes I feel just so sick of it.
People expect me to be something, to do something, to have this ability and yada-fucking-yada.
And when I don't fit that criteria, or that I can't do that particular something, oh boo hoo I'm now the bad guy.
Gosh it's getting too much.
Too Nice?
Maybe I have been too nice.
I tolerate people. I take care of other people's feelings.
I don't like to hurt people if I can help it.
To put it in a blunt term, I guess I'm such a pussy in that sense.
Take last Saturday for example.
Arthur and I went to photograph a paintball competition.
We arrived at the venue at 8 am.
Yes, that early. Means I had to wake up at 7 on a Saturday, drive to Arthur's house, and then both of us had to go to the place.
When we arrived, the person in charge of us wasn't there.
So okay, fine, we waited.
After about half-an-hour of waiting, we decided to give the person a call.
We both called. I'm thinking there must be something like, what, 30 calls that we made.
No answer. Okay fine.
I was getting sort of pissy, and so was Arthur.
We were discussing about what to say to the person.
All sorts of things came out.
Oh and in the end, the person was a no-show, and we waited for 4 hours for nothing.
Well, we managed to get some photographs.
But the whole thing was blown.
When the person eventually contacted me, apologizing profusely about not turning up thanks to something or another, I couldn't bring myself to scold that person.
I just couldn't be angry when it mattered most.
Now what happened on Saturday isn't the cause of this outburst.
It does show how significant it happens to be though, that it does affect me somehow.
So yeah.
Fucking hell, maybe that's my problem.
I put up with people.
And I guess I've been putting up with much more than I could take.
Yeah it's going to blow someday.
Maybe this post will actually help ease the pressure a little bit.
Because I need to vent some things out.
And then tomorrow, I will go about my life like normal.
Can't wait for class. Familiarity, comfort.
And hey so what if I don't really like the lecture, or if I have to wake up in time for the 8 o'clock class.
I can at least get away from life for a little bit.
Maybe one day I can get away forever.
But when exactly is it too much?
Recently I've been having to deal with a lot of things.
Assignments, life, and no my life is not all La-di-da.
More like La-di-da-di-bloody-fucking-da!
Expectations and so much more.
Weighing me down.
The only time I feel like myself nowadays is in college.
I guess it's because I can escape form my life.
College life, mostly routine, rarely anything that I can't put up with.
So yeah, too much?
Well I guess it's nearing the point of too much.
It's not the assignments. Those, I can deal with pretty easily.
It's the other aspect of life.
Sometimes I feel just so sick of it.
People expect me to be something, to do something, to have this ability and yada-fucking-yada.
And when I don't fit that criteria, or that I can't do that particular something, oh boo hoo I'm now the bad guy.
Gosh it's getting too much.
Too Nice?
Maybe I have been too nice.
I tolerate people. I take care of other people's feelings.
I don't like to hurt people if I can help it.
To put it in a blunt term, I guess I'm such a pussy in that sense.
Take last Saturday for example.
Arthur and I went to photograph a paintball competition.
We arrived at the venue at 8 am.
Yes, that early. Means I had to wake up at 7 on a Saturday, drive to Arthur's house, and then both of us had to go to the place.
When we arrived, the person in charge of us wasn't there.
So okay, fine, we waited.
After about half-an-hour of waiting, we decided to give the person a call.
We both called. I'm thinking there must be something like, what, 30 calls that we made.
No answer. Okay fine.
I was getting sort of pissy, and so was Arthur.
We were discussing about what to say to the person.
All sorts of things came out.
Oh and in the end, the person was a no-show, and we waited for 4 hours for nothing.
Well, we managed to get some photographs.
But the whole thing was blown.
When the person eventually contacted me, apologizing profusely about not turning up thanks to something or another, I couldn't bring myself to scold that person.
Nevermind that we had to wake up so early in the morning on a Saturday.
Nevermind that we tried calling 45 times to no apparent effect.
Nevermind that we had to wait 4 hours while doing nothing productive.
Nevermind that we tried calling 45 times to no apparent effect.
Nevermind that we had to wait 4 hours while doing nothing productive.
I just couldn't be angry when it mattered most.
Now what happened on Saturday isn't the cause of this outburst.
It does show how significant it happens to be though, that it does affect me somehow.
So yeah.
Fucking hell, maybe that's my problem.
I put up with people.
And I guess I've been putting up with much more than I could take.
Yeah it's going to blow someday.
Maybe this post will actually help ease the pressure a little bit.
Because I need to vent some things out.
And then tomorrow, I will go about my life like normal.
Can't wait for class. Familiarity, comfort.
And hey so what if I don't really like the lecture, or if I have to wake up in time for the 8 o'clock class.
I can at least get away from life for a little bit.
Maybe one day I can get away forever.
