Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Behind My Smile Is A Hurting Heart. Behind My laugh, I'm Falling Apart. Look closely at Me and You Will See, the Guy I am, Isn't Me.
Did you ever know that you're my hero,
and everything I would like to be?
I can fly higher than an eagle,
'cause you are the wind beneath my wings.
It might have appeared to go unnoticed,
but I've got it all here in my heart.
I want you to know I know the truth, of course I know it.
I would be nothing without you.
Wind Beneath My Wings - Bette Midler
Rough patch! That's what it is at the moment. And it's way worse than it's ever been. EVER.
I had work to do yesterday, went to Sri Pentas at around 8.30 a.m. to prepare to shoot the Goodbye Tapes for the Top20 contestants. We ended up finishing close to 5 a.m. Hah. Awesome, nay?
So anyway, I sat in on most of the shooting, since I was on camera 2. Listening to what Keidd was telling the contestants, giving them scenarios that would make any grown man weep, I guess it's inevitable that I was sort of affected as well.
At about midnight I decided on a whim to call my dad up, and talking to him brought a smile to my face. But at the same time, I felt tremendously sad. I fucking cried, damnit. Imagine crying at midnight on the office balcony (not something that I would want to do again, mind you). Hell, even now typing this out I'm tearing. It's the fact that he's not in my life now, when I probably need him a lot to go through stuff lately. That's what gets at me (and he's not the only one missing, and that gets me too)
Some may say, "Oh, it's part of growing up." or "You've got to get used to this, because you're going to go away one day." or whatever, but I can't. I'm sorry if I love my parents too damn much.
I guess work is the core of the matter. Two important people are gone because of work. One is coming back in July, and the other, September. I can live, if perhaps only one is gone (well, after the shock of the person leaving la). But two, and them pulak tu. It's not easy. Never was, never will be.
I've got tonnes on my mind still, but no way of wording them. And I've got to head to work soon. So yeah, maybe when the inspiration hits me. Maybe.
Sigh.
and everything I would like to be?
I can fly higher than an eagle,
'cause you are the wind beneath my wings.
It might have appeared to go unnoticed,
but I've got it all here in my heart.
I want you to know I know the truth, of course I know it.
I would be nothing without you.
Wind Beneath My Wings - Bette Midler
Rough patch! That's what it is at the moment. And it's way worse than it's ever been. EVER.
I had work to do yesterday, went to Sri Pentas at around 8.30 a.m. to prepare to shoot the Goodbye Tapes for the Top20 contestants. We ended up finishing close to 5 a.m. Hah. Awesome, nay?
So anyway, I sat in on most of the shooting, since I was on camera 2. Listening to what Keidd was telling the contestants, giving them scenarios that would make any grown man weep, I guess it's inevitable that I was sort of affected as well.
At about midnight I decided on a whim to call my dad up, and talking to him brought a smile to my face. But at the same time, I felt tremendously sad. I fucking cried, damnit. Imagine crying at midnight on the office balcony (not something that I would want to do again, mind you). Hell, even now typing this out I'm tearing. It's the fact that he's not in my life now, when I probably need him a lot to go through stuff lately. That's what gets at me (and he's not the only one missing, and that gets me too)
Some may say, "Oh, it's part of growing up." or "You've got to get used to this, because you're going to go away one day." or whatever, but I can't. I'm sorry if I love my parents too damn much.
I guess work is the core of the matter. Two important people are gone because of work. One is coming back in July, and the other, September. I can live, if perhaps only one is gone (well, after the shock of the person leaving la). But two, and them pulak tu. It's not easy. Never was, never will be.
I've got tonnes on my mind still, but no way of wording them. And I've got to head to work soon. So yeah, maybe when the inspiration hits me. Maybe.
God I miss you two. More than you know, perhaps more than even I do.
Maybe then when all the sky was blazing.
Maybe then I'd feel you somewhere,
Gazing at a star,
And you could feel me too.
Maybe then I'd feel you somewhere,
Gazing at a star,
And you could feel me too.
Sigh.
Friday, May 23, 2008
Or Am I Standing Still, Beneath the Darkened Sky?
Cuttin' through the darkest night in my two headlights,
Trying to keep it clear, but I'm losing it here to the twilight.
There's a dead end to my left, there's a burning bush to my right,
You aren't in sight, you aren't in sight.
Standing Still - Jewel
Weird thing, life. Yeah.
:|
Trying to keep it clear, but I'm losing it here to the twilight.
There's a dead end to my left, there's a burning bush to my right,
You aren't in sight, you aren't in sight.
Standing Still - Jewel
Mm I'm feeling pretty pensive at the moment, and also facing the problem of making a few decisions that would probably affect the next 2 to 3 months of my life. Plus some other things regarding some.. er.. other things.
Again, I wish I was a turtle. Then I won't have to face all of this. Plus, it's so cool how they can hide in their shells. It's like, their shell-ter. Bahahaha okay damn, wth.
Again, I wish I was a turtle. Then I won't have to face all of this. Plus, it's so cool how they can hide in their shells. It's like, their shell-ter. Bahahaha okay damn, wth.
Weird thing, life. Yeah.
:|
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Is This A World Where Dreaming’s Ended? Should I Be Afraid To Believe?
I heard a wise man say it’s the people closest to you
They try to hold you back cause they’re scared that you might fall
Well don’t they see
It’s chasing our dreams, doing what we love that makes us happy
Sometimes it’s hard but I wouldn’t change this for the world.
My Mistake - Unkown Artist
*If you can tell me who sang this song, I'll probably reward you in some way. I'm dying to know who sang it.
Got myself a new pair of shoes. Thanks Meph!
This is my keeper shot for the night. Almost perfect, save for that blur thing at his chin.
God-damnit!
At the road in front of my house
And the bunch of people that followed the procession. There was acutally wayyyy more.
And I choose to believe what sounds impossible to you,
That I’m gonna make it.
:)
They try to hold you back cause they’re scared that you might fall
Well don’t they see
It’s chasing our dreams, doing what we love that makes us happy
Sometimes it’s hard but I wouldn’t change this for the world.
My Mistake - Unkown Artist
*If you can tell me who sang this song, I'll probably reward you in some way. I'm dying to know who sang it.
Got myself a new pair of shoes. Thanks Meph!
Then just now I followed the Wesak parade thingy. Quite random, since Kin Meng asked me for some batts, and I went out, saw the parade, decided to join them later. And we ran, jogged, walked, talked and shot quite a lot. Hahaha. Sweat giler babi though. Blehhh.
This is my keeper shot for the night. Almost perfect, save for that blur thing at his chin.
God-damnit!
At the road in front of my house
And the bunch of people that followed the procession. There was acutally wayyyy more.
Mmm yeah so that's it. Nothing too interesting has been happening in the last 24-48 hours or so. Well, save for a phone call which made my day/week, specially in light of what happened recently.
And I choose to believe what sounds impossible to you,
That I’m gonna make it.
:)
Monday, May 19, 2008
"But I Will Tear the Price From Your Head, and Keep You From Harm" Thats What You Said.
When you fall and you,
Can't find your way,
Push a hand up to the sky.
I will run just to,
To be by your side,
Dont you ever bat an eye.
Now dont drown in your tears, babe
Push your head towards the air.
Now dont drown in your tears, babe
I will always be there.
Push Your Head Towards the Sky - Editors
I wish you were here.
Both of you.
:(
Can't find your way,
Push a hand up to the sky.
I will run just to,
To be by your side,
Dont you ever bat an eye.
Now dont drown in your tears, babe
Push your head towards the air.
Now dont drown in your tears, babe
I will always be there.
Push Your Head Towards the Sky - Editors
I wish you were here.
Both of you.
:(
Sunday, May 18, 2008
And Even When Your Hope Is Gone, Move Along
Ive been kicked around since I was born.
And now it's all right. It's ok.
And you may look the other way.
We can try to understand.
Stayin' Alive - Bee Gees
And I bought some stuff, might post them up when I'm free.
Life goin' nowhere. somebody help me.
Somebody help me, yeah.
.
And now it's all right. It's ok.
And you may look the other way.
We can try to understand.
Stayin' Alive - Bee Gees
Am not going to update the Marie Digby post, so yeah, for more pics go to my Flickr.
Been pretty busy this past few days, close to a week, and have been having, em.. I don't know, stuff on my mind, though I'm coping pretty okay for now. Not really sure what's bothering me, but I'm pretty sure there's more than one thing. Went to Ampang to sorta unwind with Jas, and that helped. Then just now I went out with a few sneakerheads to talk crap, and that helped too.
Friday, did a photo-op for Joevie. Had to photograph her company and staff, amongst other things. Was initially supposed to do it alone, but I takut sesat jalan, so I brought Arthur along, so yeah, both of us. Bleeding Mofo got a few nice shots while I was driving, bloody hell. Haha
Oh, my iTouch is acting up. Must be because I dropped it, and it went smack onto the floor, from bout waist height. Argh! Kena hantar repair. Bah.
Been pretty busy this past few days, close to a week, and have been having, em.. I don't know, stuff on my mind, though I'm coping pretty okay for now. Not really sure what's bothering me, but I'm pretty sure there's more than one thing. Went to Ampang to sorta unwind with Jas, and that helped. Then just now I went out with a few sneakerheads to talk crap, and that helped too.
Friday, did a photo-op for Joevie. Had to photograph her company and staff, amongst other things. Was initially supposed to do it alone, but I takut sesat jalan, so I brought Arthur along, so yeah, both of us. Bleeding Mofo got a few nice shots while I was driving, bloody hell. Haha
Oh, my iTouch is acting up. Must be because I dropped it, and it went smack onto the floor, from bout waist height. Argh! Kena hantar repair. Bah.
And I bought some stuff, might post them up when I'm free.
Life goin' nowhere. somebody help me.
Somebody help me, yeah.
.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Look A Little Closer, I Really Really Want You To Put Yourself In Her Shoes
And though she smiles
There is something just hiding
And she cant find a way to relate
She just goes unnoticed
As the crowd passes by
And she'll pretend to be busy
When inside she just wants to cry
Miss Invisible - Marie Digby
Mmm yeah more soon. And more at my flickr so yeah, if you can't wait, I've uploaded a few there. Though flickr does tend to over-sharpen some images.
There is something just hiding
And she cant find a way to relate
She just goes unnoticed
As the crowd passes by
And she'll pretend to be busy
When inside she just wants to cry
Miss Invisible - Marie Digby
Mmm yeah more soon. And more at my flickr so yeah, if you can't wait, I've uploaded a few there. Though flickr does tend to over-sharpen some images.
Labels: Eman, Life, marie digby, Photography
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Aku Fahami Aku Bukan Terbaik Tuk Diri Mu
Dan segalanya yang ku ada,
Ku berikan semua,
Untuk dirimu saja.
Ku mahu dirimu, bahagia tuk selamanya,
Biar sampai syurga,
Aku mununggu cinta darimu,
Agar ku sempurna.
Sampai Syurga - Faizal Tahir
Ku berikan semua,
Untuk dirimu saja.
Ku mahu dirimu, bahagia tuk selamanya,
Biar sampai syurga,
Aku mununggu cinta darimu,
Agar ku sempurna.
Sampai Syurga - Faizal Tahir
On Monday Arthur, Ione and I went and participated in the shooting of Faizal Tahir's song "Sampai Syurga" punya video, somewhere in Sri Damansara. Went to this place called Commercial Hub to shoot the vid. We gathered at round 8.30 am at Sri Pentas, then headed on there. Tunggu punya tunggu, in the end we had to wait until about 6 pm before we started shooting. Hahaha. Gila lama.
Photos!
*Click to go to see them bigger
And for more go visit my
So yeah, we finished at about 10 or so. Headed back home, then went to fetch Arthur, Yvonne and Ione from Sri Pentas, and headed to Asia Cafe before sending them back home to Klang (Gila jauh sial. Tapi tak rasa sangat la, since it was at night, and I was going at er.. a good speed)
Hanya Kamu
:|
Photos!
*Click to go to see them bigger
And for more go visit my
So yeah, we finished at about 10 or so. Headed back home, then went to fetch Arthur, Yvonne and Ione from Sri Pentas, and headed to Asia Cafe before sending them back home to Klang (Gila jauh sial. Tapi tak rasa sangat la, since it was at night, and I was going at er.. a good speed)
Hanya Kamu
:|
Sunday, May 11, 2008
I Ain't Freakin, I Ain't Fakin' This
Now oh so easily you're over me
Gone is love
It's you that ought to be holding me
I'm not containable
This turns up
It's not sustainable
Shut Up and Let Me Go - The Ting Tings
So yeah. Flower pics (which are linked from my Flickr)
*Click to go to see them bigger
And some other shots
More to comeee! :D
Gone is love
It's you that ought to be holding me
I'm not containable
This turns up
It's not sustainable
Shut Up and Let Me Go - The Ting Tings
On Sunday a bunch of us decided to have an impromptu photography outing. So we, and we were: Eng Loon, Kin Meng, Patrick, Yong Hua and I (we're a bunch of geeky photographers, aye) met up at Pelita, and then decided to head on to Lake Gardens. And we went snap happy.
So yeah. Flower pics (which are linked from my Flickr)
*Click to go to see them bigger
And some other shots
Mm yeah that's it. The rest didn't really turn out so well. But I'm happy with the flowers, at least.
*PS: Some of you might notice the lack of framing and tagging on the photos. I've decided to just upload them as they are, without the frames and tags, unless I really need to. So yeah, only my er, great photos, will get tagged, at most, from now on.
*PS: Some of you might notice the lack of framing and tagging on the photos. I've decided to just upload them as they are, without the frames and tags, unless I really need to. So yeah, only my er, great photos, will get tagged, at most, from now on.
More to comeee! :D
Labels: Eman, Life, Photography
Saturday, May 10, 2008
And Truth Is You're the Reason That I Wake Up Each Day
This is for the damage
And the madness that i made
I know I can be thoughtless
But I promise that'll change
My heart may be bulletproof
But it's still gonna break
Soul Rock - Ferras
And OMG I just realised my hands look so damn freaking skinny in the pic of the previous post! Hahahah. Keding gila. Aih, biler la nak gain weight ni..
Oh, hey, I'm getting pretty good at this, nay?
White is not something I'd wear normally, so I'm going to pull a not-normal pose! :D
And the madness that i made
I know I can be thoughtless
But I promise that'll change
My heart may be bulletproof
But it's still gonna break
Soul Rock - Ferras
Went out just now to just spend some time with the family. Been a while (yeah, 3 weeks) since we last did this. Haha. Went to the Curve, had lunch there, and then we went to look for my shirt that I need for Monday's shoot.
Also went to Ikano to check out a couch that my mum bought yesterday, and then we dropped by Popular to just look through the books. Got myself an issue of Click! magazine, and I realise that I haven't been on a photo outing in bleeding aeons. Oh my god! Dying weh!
Also went to Ikano to check out a couch that my mum bought yesterday, and then we dropped by Popular to just look through the books. Got myself an issue of Click! magazine, and I realise that I haven't been on a photo outing in bleeding aeons. Oh my god! Dying weh!
And OMG I just realised my hands look so damn freaking skinny in the pic of the previous post! Hahahah. Keding gila. Aih, biler la nak gain weight ni..
Oh, hey, I'm getting pretty good at this, nay?
Wore the above to get the below.
White is not something I'd wear normally, so I'm going to pull a not-normal pose! :D
Later tonight there's gonna be a Mother's Day dinner at Mum's Place. Um, yeah. Been a while since I last saw my relatives, so hopefully I'll enjoy it like the last time I did.
Edit: My dad got me a few tees from when he was abroad. Whoo wee! Haha. And I think there's more to come. Mesti!
Yeah I have nothing better to do. So I wanna show them tees. Hahaha
Abbey Road. Beatles. Yay!
Imagine. John Lennon. Yay! x2
Led Zeppelin. Yay! x3
Mm hmmm..
:|
Edit: My dad got me a few tees from when he was abroad. Whoo wee! Haha. And I think there's more to come. Mesti!
Yeah I have nothing better to do. So I wanna show them tees. Hahaha
Abbey Road. Beatles. Yay!
Imagine. John Lennon. Yay! x2
Led Zeppelin. Yay! x3
Mm hmmm..
:|
Friday, May 09, 2008
Beat Me, Cheat Me, Try and Feed Me
Hey, you're supposed to be my friend
That's right! Right?
It's hard to get you on the phone
You're never home!
You're never at my place neither
Well that makes two of us!
You're Supposed To Be My Friend - The 1990s
"Oh my god, what's that up there? "
"I don't know, but I'm gonna try push this tree and make a face."
75 Days, and counting. If I'm not mistaken. Mmmmm
:|
That's right! Right?
It's hard to get you on the phone
You're never home!
You're never at my place neither
Well that makes two of us!
You're Supposed To Be My Friend - The 1990s
"Oh my god, what's that up there? "
"I don't know, but I'm gonna try push this tree and make a face."
A week's come and gone, and nothing much has happened. I managed to catch this week's episode of So You Think You Can Dance, and felt so happy to see my shot on tv. Minor, I know, but there's this little sense of satisfaction, you know, when you see something you did appear on TV or something. Hahaha. Sorta how I felt when I got my DD over at DevArt.
Oh my dad is finally back from Manilla, after a three-week absence from home. Hahaha. Ahhh rindu. Now there's just the matter of the other one coming back, though that one I have to wait another two-months plus plus. Mmm hey ho.
Music and other mundane stuff have been my companions nowadays. The coffee's not the same, you know? We've been having a pretty steady Wednesday night agreement going on, though, which helps take our minds off things. It's movie night at my place on Wednesdays, and so far we've watched 28 Days and Weeks. Not sure what next week will be, maybe Saw or something.
"Aku dah kata jangan cangkung macam tu kat sini, ko masih buat! Nak kena penampar slipar ke?!"
Oh my dad is finally back from Manilla, after a three-week absence from home. Hahaha. Ahhh rindu. Now there's just the matter of the other one coming back, though that one I have to wait another two-months plus plus. Mmm hey ho.
Music and other mundane stuff have been my companions nowadays. The coffee's not the same, you know? We've been having a pretty steady Wednesday night agreement going on, though, which helps take our minds off things. It's movie night at my place on Wednesdays, and so far we've watched 28 Days and Weeks. Not sure what next week will be, maybe Saw or something.
"Aku dah kata jangan cangkung macam tu kat sini, ko masih buat! Nak kena penampar slipar ke?!"
75 Days, and counting. If I'm not mistaken. Mmmmm
:|
Sunday, May 04, 2008
Yakinkan Aku Tuhan, Dia Bukan Milikku
Buang semua puisi
Antara kita berdua
Kau bunuh dia sesuatu
Yang kusebut itu cinta
Hapus Aku - Nidji
First of, let me start this with:
So anyways. Just now.
Invites, you say?
And it ain't over till the fat lady sings.
And that. Is that.
Wanted to call, but well I was out. Still will, if I can, tau?
Hahaha
Selamat Malam! :)
Antara kita berdua
Kau bunuh dia sesuatu
Yang kusebut itu cinta
Hapus Aku - Nidji
First of, let me start this with:
My throat is killing me! Haha. Mm yeah well I've recovered from the sores and aches and fever and whatnot, but now my throat is playing games with me. Coughing like some old hack at times.
So anyways. Just now.
Can't see my legs cos I wasn't wearing shoes. So yeah, tak cantik la.
Invites, you say?
Went to AIM 15 with Arthur, since my dad is away. Enjoyed it, and Faizal Tahir, man you the bomb lah! Hahaha. Sapu the next bunch of awards why don't you.
And it ain't over till the fat lady sings.
The after party wasn't so happening, since we were a little lost. I mean, I'm not one for the glitz and glamour of the stars, so yeah. Left after grabbing a few bites. Hahaha
Then went back, Arthur headed off to meet Shaz, if I'm not mistaken, and I..
I went to meet up with them Komodos at Shah Alam. Barbeque beb! Macam frat party jer. Hahaha. Happening. Turned up late, but still managed to have some good fun. Lots of drinking there, lots food there, lots ping pong (yeah wtf) and shit. Too bad I couldn't stay longer. Obligations, aye.
More probably at our blog :
Then sampai balik round 4 something after sending Kinz back to his car. And I got bored, and I was dressed up, so yeah. Haha. Some fun la kan.
Em, I don't know what to do. I'm new at this.
Oh, shit! I was supposed to do that?
What the hell is that on my wall?
Er.. yeah. I don't know what this one was supposed to be.
Then went back, Arthur headed off to meet Shaz, if I'm not mistaken, and I..
I went to meet up with them Komodos at Shah Alam. Barbeque beb! Macam frat party jer. Hahaha. Happening. Turned up late, but still managed to have some good fun. Lots of drinking there, lots food there, lots ping pong (yeah wtf) and shit. Too bad I couldn't stay longer. Obligations, aye.
More probably at our blog :
Then sampai balik round 4 something after sending Kinz back to his car. And I got bored, and I was dressed up, so yeah. Haha. Some fun la kan.
Em, I don't know what to do. I'm new at this.
Oh, shit! I was supposed to do that?
What the hell is that on my wall?
Er.. yeah. I don't know what this one was supposed to be.
And that. Is that.
Wanted to call, but well I was out. Still will, if I can, tau?
Hahaha
Selamat Malam! :)
Labels: Eman, komodo Ninja, Life
Thursday, May 01, 2008
All I Can Do Is Cry For Help
She's taken my time.
Convince me she's fine.
But when she leaves I'm not so sure.
It's always the same.
She's playing her game.
Cry For Help - Rick Astley
Convince me she's fine.
But when she leaves I'm not so sure.
It's always the same.
She's playing her game.
Cry For Help - Rick Astley
Em. I think the remnants of the bug is attacking me again. I'm still taking my meds, and I've done nothing much different compared to when I was sick. Hopefully this will go away soon.
Saturday is pretty important to me.
Saturday is pretty important to me.
Please, oh please? :(
